To our Readers:
This is the kind of letter I like to send out to the parents of a new team of young players. You may use this any way you choose. No references are necessary.
Do you have to win the Little League Baseball World Series, or the NFL Super Bowl, or the Indy 500, or a Gold Medal in the Olympics, or the British Open, or any other Sports equivalent in order to be a Winner?
I hope not! Because if being a Winner demands that level of achievement that lets me out and I’ll bet that it leaves most of you Readers out, too. As a Parent, in your quest to have your child involved in Sports (or any other activity), is it necessary for him or her to win the medal or trophy in these events to be a Winner?
Even the Winners aren’t always the Winner. We can point to Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Serena Williams, and Nolan Ryan and note that sometimes they didn’t win. They may have lost the game but they weren’t “Losers” - they always worked toward excellence in performance and toward fulfilling their potential as athletes.
Better examples would be Ernie Banks and Billy Williams of the Chicago Cubs. Both of these excellent players, members of the Baseball Hall of Fame, were denied the honor of being on a pennant winning team and appearing in a World Series but they showed up every game and gave their best at all times. And staying in Chicago for a moment, Walter Payton of the Bears, setter of many records including until recently career total yards gained, played his heart out every play of every game and it was not until the twilight of his career that his team won the Super Bowl - and to their lasting regret, they let someone else score the winning touchdown.
We could go on and name many of the greatest athletes in our sports history who didn't reach an ultimate goal; Sam Snead who never won the U. S. Open; Pete Sampras who never won the French Open; Jim Ryun, the greatest miler of his time who was jostled and knocked down in a qualifying heat and didn’t win the 1500 meter run in the Olympics, the great Glen Cunningham who was frustrated in his pursuit of the 4 minute mile, and Mary Decker Slaney who pursued and reached her dreams in the Olympics even after her unfortunate fall in the finals of the 1984 Olympics. Were any of these great athletes “Losers”? Of course not. They pursued excellence, they worked diligently to fulfill their potential as athletes and they have left a mark in history on what the human quest is.
Let's examine the qualities that great athletes have exhibited in their pursuit of excellence so that we can get some insight on how we should deal with our own youngsters. Here is a short list:
Pride - Your kids must be proud of their team, proud of their own actions and achievements, proud of their coach and, yes, proud of you, their parents.
Discipline - Discipline is the setting of goals and then moving toward them with a sense of purpose and responsibility.
Self-reliance - The one critical responsibility we have to our kids is to make them self-reliant; to work with them so that they become independent of us.
Dedication and Hard Work - These are the sweat-related qualities your kids need to develop in order to make everything work. Is your Child a “Loser" or a “Winner"? It really is your choice on what you believe about him or her and how you act toward him or her.
Above all we need to give them Roots and Wings - it doesn’t work unless they’re both there.
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